Be My Light : A BWWM Romance (Make It Marriage Book 4) Read online

Hope wanes.

  I brush my teeth with my phone in hand.

  I set it next to me on the pillow.

  Realize how pathetic I’m being.

  Leave it on the dresser.

  Ina doesn’t respond all night. Pushing aside my disappointment, I force myself to go to sleep.

  When I wake up the next morning, I grab my phone.

  The icon is red.

  1 New Message.

  She replied.

  I set the phone down. Pad to the bathroom. Calmly brush my teeth and make breakfast. When I can’t stall anymore, I check Ina’s email.

  Again, she makes me laugh.

  Again, I reply immediately.

  Our emails fly back and forth for the rest of the week.

  Nine

  Ina

  For the fifth time, I run my hands down my cute outfit. The top is a modest cut with just a hint of cleavage. The skirt flares at my knees. The waistband is cinched tight, hugging my curves in all the right places. It’s a dress that screams look but don’t touch.

  Knots tighten in my stomach.

  I hope Gregory Phillips doesn’t try to touch.

  It’s just the first date.

  No one touches on the first date, right?

  I reach for my blue jacket and fold it over my arms, trying to calm my frazzled nerves with deep breaths.

  Venus already spoke to him.

  He already knows I don’t like physical contact.

  If he had a problem with that, he wouldn’t have agreed to meet me.

  I shake my head. Focus. I need to focus.

  And relax.

  This is the beginning of the rest of my life. I can’t head to this date expecting the worst.

  Grabbing my purse from the door, I walk out of my bedroom.

  The clock ticks.

  Ten forty-five.

  I’ve got an hour until my lunch date with Gregory.

  I’m way too early.

  “Damn, girl. You look fine.” Venus jumps out of her boyfriend’s lap. She lifts a finger and gestures turn around.

  I do.

  Evan, Venus’s brother and the much calmer version of his little sister, whistles under his breath. “What’s going on?”

  I thread my fingers together.

  Venus answers for me. “She’s going on a date.”

  “With who?”

  “Someone great.” Venus grins so hard it’s blinding. “Aren’t you excited?”

  “Nervous.”

  Evan frowns. “Who’s the guy?”

  “He’s a teacher.”

  “At which school?”

  “Does it matter, Evander?”

  His scowl intensifies.

  I chuckle, feeling especially grateful for Evan. It’s nice seeing him so protective.

  When I first moved in, Venus’s older brother hated me.

  Which was understandable given the circumstances.

  As time passed, Evan got to know me.

  Then he started to care for me.

  Now, he accepts me as his older sister. He stands up for me when I need him. He punches anyone who gets in my way.

  And the guy has a wicked right hook.

  I never realized how much fun an over-protective little brother would be until I had one.

  “I knew that dress would be fire on you. Doesn’t she look hot, Troy?”

  “You look great,” Troy says with a friendly smile. Then he turns to his girlfriend. “Nice job.”

  Venus tosses her hair over her shoulder. “I am pretty spectacular.”

  “Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?”

  I glance at Evan.

  Venus rolls her eyes. “About what?”

  “You’re setting her up with some guy?”

  “So?”

  “Why didn’t you run this by me first?”

  “Because we all knew you’d overreact, just like you’re doing right now.”

  “I’m not over-reacting. I have valid concerns.”

  “She’s a grown woman.”

  “And there are a lot of grown men acting like little boys out there.”

  Venus huffs.

  “What if this guy is some douchebag? What if he does something stupid?” Evan throws his hands high. “What if I need to pencil in a butt-whooping? My schedule’s booked tight this week.”

  “It’s fine,” I speak quietly. “You won’t need to beat anyone up.”

  “But—”

  “I got this.”

  Or so I hope.

  I’ve been mentally preparing myself for this day all week.

  I’ve read the articles.

  Scoured Google for flirting techniques.

  Watched hours of dating advice videos on YouTube.

  I’m terrified, but I don’t want to back down.

  I have to do this.

  It’s all about taking that first step, right?

  “Are you sure, Ina?”

  I nod.

  The wrinkles around his brown eyes deepen as he studies me. I know he’s thinking about my past. About how I used to react when men would crowd my personal space or try to flirt with me. He’s worried that I’ll have another breakdown.

  Even though I’ve gotten better, to Evan, I’m still that wounded girl.

  I’m still someone he needs to handle with kid gloves.

  “I’m better now. I want to do this.”

  “Venus didn’t rope you into it?”

  “Hey!”

  “No, it’s…” I smooth my dress down again. “I’m looking forward to dating. You know? Like normal people.”

  Evan grimaces. “You are normal, Ina.”

  “You know what I meant.”

  “Enough.” Venus crosses the room and fixes my collar. “She’s going on this date. She’s going to have a great time. And we’re all going to celebrate when I win.”

  I chuckle. “Are you that confident?”

  “Just wait and see.” Her eyes twinkle. “If he doesn’t do it for you, I’ve got two more impressive guys lined up. I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

  I dig my fingers into my purse. “I should head out now.”

  “Now?” Venus checks her phone. “It’s early.”

  “I know, but I want to get there before he does.”

  Which is mostly true.

  But not completely.

  Lucas is working at the café today, and I really want to see him.

  It’s weird.

  When it comes to making new friends, my default setting is terror.

  With Lucas, it’s different. It’s instinctual. It’s… easy.

  I smile, thinking of our latest email discussion. We debated the merits of comic book adaptations for TV and film. It’s an argument I can’t wait to continue in person.

  I really love how easy it is to talk to him. He never pushes me for information about my past. He never flirts or hints at anything romantic.

  It’s all pressure-free.

  It’s exactly what I need.

  “Are you nervous?” Venus asks.

  Not right now.

  Not when I’m thinking about Lucas

  A grin spreads on my face.

  Something light and fluffy—like popping champagne—fills my stomach.

  In theory, I should be more interested in seeing Gregory.

  But I’m not.

  I’ve been thinking of nothing but Lucas since that first email.

  In a totally platonic way, of course.

  Even if I wanted to—and I don’t—I can’t see anything happening between us.

  For one thing, I threw Lucas over my shoulder when we first met.

  And I didn’t feel that passionate, red-hot, fireworks chemistry when I was with him last week.

  Our relationship feels like a thick, worn blanket.

  It’s warm more than it is fiery.

  It’s familiar more than it is mysterious and magnetic.

  He’s like the male version of me.

  We just—

  We
fit. We click. We vibe.

  Yeah, he’s cute. I’ll admit that but…

  It’s too easy with Lucas.

  It’s too safe.

  I don’t think love is supposed to feel like that.

  Venus chuckles. “Are you that excited?”

  “Huh?”

  Evan shoots me a you’re creeping me out look.

  Troy coughs. “What were you thinking just now? You had this huge smile on your face.”

  “Nothing,” I say quickly.

  “She’s just looking forward to her date, right?” Venus asks.

  I nod.

  But the truth is…

  The man I’m looking forward to seeing is Lucas.

  Ten

  Lucas

  The bells above the door jangle. I glance up from the comic book in front of me.

  There’s a girl walking into the shop.

  I glance away.

  Something clicks in my head.

  Like a whip, my gaze ricochets back.

  I blink once.

  Twice.

  That’s Ina.

  The woman I’ve been emailing all week.

  The woman I can’t get out of my mind.

  She’s standing in my shop, fingers curled in her brown sling purse, eyes on her cell phone.

  Sunshine springs off dark twists.

  A simple dress.

  Short sleeves.

  Blue sandals.

  It glows in her dark cheeks and picks up the undertones of gold in her skin.

  She finishes whatever text she’s tapping out on her phone. Slips the cell into her pocket.

  Turns toward the counter.

  Toward me.

  My heart slams against my ribs.

  For some reason I didn’t think we’d see each other so soon.

  Which is ridiculous.

  We live in the same city.

  Share the same interests.

  We’re… friends. Somewhat.

  Makes sense that she’s here.

  Her eyes move away from the comics on the front shelf to the wall.

  To the long grey counter.

  The comic book splattered over it.

  Me.

  “Lucas.” The word hits the air, crackling. Like she couldn’t wait to say it. Like she wanted to scream it. Like it’s her second favorite thing outside of Justice League and Red Hot Chili Pepper albums.

  “Ina.”

  Her hair is fluffier, her lips are glossy instead of red and she’s not wearing Jonas’s jacket, but otherwise, she looks exactly the way she did when she threw me over her shoulder last week.

  Warm brown eyes.

  Soft smile.

  Dark legs.

  Her eyes dart around the quiet shop. The Batman sign above my head. The novelty items in the glass case. Me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  Her smile brightens.

  The sight of it sends a buzz through my veins.

  I need her smiling more. I need that like I need air.

  And…

  Where the hell is this coming from?

  I shake my head. “You didn’t tell me you were stopping by.”

  “I know. I wanted to surprise you.”

  I roll my fingers on the counter.

  “Surprise.” She throws her arms wide and tilts her head.

  Adorable.

  My grin widens. “What’s the occasion?”

  “Guess.”

  I tap my chin. “You’re here to argue in person?”

  “How did you know?”

  “I’m that good.”

  She rolls her eyes. “You’re too cocky.”

  “Some women find that appealing.”

  “Those women have been lying to you, Luc.”

  I chuckle.

  “If you’re going to be annoying, at least get me tea first.”

  “More tea?”

  “Always.”

  I lean my elbows on the counter. Tilt my head toward her. “I’d call that a one-track mind.”

  “I call that good taste.”

  “You’re not very handy with labels.”

  “And you’re not very good at admitting defeat.” She rests her arms on the counter. So we’re closer now. Six inches apart. “Just accept that I’m right and everything will be fine.”

  “Why would I do that? Even if you’re right, I live to torture you.”

  “Sounds like a sad way to live.” Her eyes fill with laughter.

  My chest swells.

  She’s here. In front of me.

  It’s like we’ve been in this spot, exchanging words and teasing each other all week.

  Like she’s always been here.

  Like she’s always been a part of my life.

  I want to linger in this moment.

  I want to reach out and touch her.

  I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

  “Just admit it.” She smiles again and everything in my world gets brighter. “You’re glad I’m here.”

  How can I possibly answer that without giving away the effect she’s having on me?

  “You first.”

  Ina presses her lips together. “You want me to lie?”

  “You started this, darling.”

  Her eyes narrow in challenge. “Darling?”

  “I’m from the south.”

  “That’s another way of telling me not to get the wrong idea?”

  “I can take it back if you want.”

  “No.” Her lips curl into a smile. “I like it.”

  There’s no coyness in her. No pretense. No guard.

  She’s not playing games.

  She’s not flirting.

  She’s just being honest.

  It’s so incredibly refreshing.

  “You might fall for me if I say it too often,” I tease.

  “Not if today goes well.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m here to meet someone.”

  “Other than me?”

  She nods.

  I straighten. “Nellie?”

  She takes a long, shaky breath. “No.”

  “Business or pleasure?”

  She lets out a soft sigh. “It’s a date.”

  My elbows almost slip out from under me.

  What the hell?

  With who?

  Why didn’t you tell me you were taken?

  I push the questions down.

  It’s none of my business.

  “We met a few days ago.” Her smile softens. “In a really weird way.” Her eyes meet mine. “He’s a teacher.”

  “Okay…”

  “I’m a little nervous.”

  “Why?”

  “What if I mess up? What if I say something stupid?”

  “You won’t.”

  “Still.”

  “Just be yourself.”

  “I’m not that interesting.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I lean my hip against the counter. “This from the woman who wrote a full-fledged essay on why Hulk is stronger than Superman?”

  Her laugh is loud, full. It makes her entire body shake. Makes her grab the counter for balance. “It was not an essay.”

  Damn. Her laughter is sweet.

  “If my students wrote half as eloquently as you did, I’d enjoy checking their papers.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “I’m charming.”

  “You’re delusional.”

  “And you’re perfect.”

  Her breath hitches.

  I soften my voice. Wait for her to look at me. “Don’t worry about the date, okay? You’ve got everything a man could want. He’d be an idiot not to fall for you.”

  Her hand goes to the end of a springy twist. “Thank you, Luc.”

  I nod.

  The bell jangles.

  We both turn and watch as a man walks through the door. He’s big, but his T-shirt is a size too small. His dark eyes scour the shop.

  “That’s him,” Ina whisp
ers. The confidence in her face twists to panic. “I’m so nervous. I can’t do this. I thought I could but—”

  “Hey. Hey.” I reach over the counter and grab both her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. “You’re okay.”

  Her thick eyelashes flutter.

  “But just in case he’s not what you thought he’d be...” I give her a tiny squeeze. “Give me a sign. I’ll be right here watching.”

  “What’ll you do if I call you?” she whispers.

  “Whatever I have to.”

  “Like?”

  I cock my head to the side. “I’ll throw the table and drag you away.”

  The wrinkle between her brows disappears.

  She smiles.

  “Ina!” The man lifts a hand.

  I wait for his tight shirt to rip from the movement.

  It doesn’t.

  Ina sucks in a breath. “Don’t take your eyes off me, Luc.”

  “I couldn’t if I tried,” I mumble.

  But she doesn’t hear.

  She’s already turning away.

  Walking toward that guy.

  Her date.

  Damn.

  How’d I get myself into this mess?

  If I’d known she was seeing someone else—

  If I’d known she wasn’t available—

  I shake my head to clear my thoughts.

  It’s a cop-out anyway.

  Even if I knew Ina was dating someone else, I’d still be drawn to her. Hell, I was intrigued when I thought she was a student. I fought it like mad, but it was there.

  Doesn’t get much worse than that.

  And it won’t get better either.

  We’re just friends.

  Friends.

  I can do that.

  I lurk behind the counter. Watch as Ina smiles at her date. Watch as he says something that makes her laugh.

  My grip on the comic book tightens.

  He lifts a hand. Gestures for Denny who scurries to get their drink orders.

  Ina gets tea. Of course she does.

  He gets a decaf.

  Pansy.

  I lift my comic book to my face and pretend to read.

  A customer walks in and asks a question about our new stock.

  I lead him to the right section and help him find the book he’s looking for. Then I listen to him gush about the movie and why it got him into comics.

  I nod at appropriate times. Grunt at appropriate times. But my customer doesn’t have my full attention.

  How could he? When Ina’s smiling like that. When she’s sighing over her tea like that. When there’s some muscle-head giving her intense I want you naked eyes like that?

  Ina’s never out of my sight.